When 2020 became 2021 A year felt lost, another hardly yet begun. Disappointments, stay home and don't you dare moan - There are others worse off, "Keep Calm and Carry On"! But for you the hours blur within each week, Each month seeming harder, your anxiety peaks. It's hard to stay positive, you try your very best To focus on what you can control, no more and no less. Everywhere you turn the doom seems to follow, Your efforts to swim, falter, weighed down by an invisible holl

To the new visitor in my mind and memory but no longer in my life. Yes. You are right, I do need help. Your timing is impeccable but I won’t let you shame me into silence. The O in OCD means obsessive, including about getting well. I also have great attention to detail and unfortunately this gives me an amazing memory for your unsolicited opinions on how I live my life. It takes strength to be honest and talk about my mental health and illness, it is not a weakness, and it ha

Dear Friend, Just a note to say thank you so much for your patience and understanding the other day. I realise that you hadn’t seen me in that state for a while (if ever) and I just wanted to let you know what it meant to me that you just listened, didn’t judge me for feeling overwhelmed or make me feel stupid for not being able to explain why. You gave me space to talk things over if I wanted to, or to just sit and get some calm. And you didn’t remind me that plenty others

The day begins And I just know It's going to be One of those days. I dress myself With extra care. Trying hard Not to look down. A touch of red Slick like blood Reminds me We only live once. Transparent no longer I'm more solid now. I remember That I'll never give up. Just breathe. By Lena Britnell #Poetry #SelfExpression #MentalIllness

Never giving up Just following flamingos Through rose tinted skies. By Lena Britnell Poetry #SelfExpression #MentalIllness

Lets get one thing straight. I am more of an indoors girl, than an outdoors girl. I am not a hiker, a biker neither do I camp. My idea of a perfect day is one where I have time to myself to shop for pretty stationery or spend hours in a book shop. But! What I have discovered, whether I feel well or am in the grips of anxiety or depression, is the power of being outside and in good company.  Going for a stroll and meeting other people who just seem to 'get it' transforms my mo

I just want to write to capture what I am feeling today...in case it changes. Read on... I've just got back from a half term holiday, in the company of family and doing activities that although exhausting, I enjoy. Perhaps for the second or third time in my adult life, I've had a holiday without being dogged by persistent symptoms of anxiety and depression, they seemed to lift as I assume most people's mood lifts when they engage in things they find enjoyable. However today,

Prompted by a recent post from the charity Rethink which highlighted some misconceptions of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), I have compiled my own list of things that meet the criteria of #thisisnotocd (for me). As those of us diagnosed with it know, it is pretty hard to be ‘a little bit OCD’ and it has almost nothing to do with taking pride in perfection. It causes harm to remain uneducated about the impact of obsessions and compulsions and reduce them to simple prefe

Focus on the now, lighten up, cheer up, Just think about others that are much worse off. Worrying doesn’t change things, try harder and you’ll see The worst will never happen, what will be will be. Pull yourself together, cos the glass is half full, Count your blessings, pull your socks up, or someone else will! Get some perspective, lighten up or you’ll find Feeling sorry for yourself is just no good for the mind. Everyone gets anxious, has bad days don’t you know? But not e

It’s shaped me; all this stuff before, Though sometimes I don’t want to remember no more. The sense of being different, being set apart, Still hovers around, in my head and in heart. How I felt adrift, so strange, so different. Not quite fitting in, wherever I went. It was hard to deal with, in fact to survive. But best foot went forwards (just BREATHE!), stayed alive. Perhaps we’ve all been through it, in different ways We all have our battles, some struggling each day. Its

I write this today off the back of leading a walk for our local Mental Health Mates group, which I am so glad to have set up as being involved in this stuff (and writing to you) helps me each and every day. My brain sabotages me everyday these days. And hilariously the advice is to use my loaf about it! How exactly?! Accept I need to take my meds...remember take my meds...practice meditation...practice CBT to challenge my problem thinking...show myself compassion by choosing

Perhaps because I have been either self employed or a home-based worker for nearly a decade, I have a habit of planning my weekdays by the hour. It may sound a bit obsessive given I don't have many deadlines to work to or an employer to report to but it really helps me stay on top of the various roles in my life. I think it's because, like many people, planning ahead helps replace some of the anxiety with motivation. I include both I need to do (mastery or accomplishment re

Yes. I have tried pulling my socks up I have tried to stop thinking about myself so much I have tried to stop being selfish I have tried to keep myself busy I have tried not thinking those thoughts I have tried to think about others worse off than me I have tried to understand that everyone gets anxious I have tried to be more positive I have tried to just stop worrying I have tried to be more grateful for what I have I have tried to consider others feelings I have tried to p

Remember a while back I told you about my wellness strategies involving social media? There are a proliferation of memes today, videos, slogans and hashtags which will hopefully trend and increase awareness of mental health. Unfortunately, this does not always lead to a greater understanding or action to help elevate mental health to an equal position as physical health as seen by continuing stigma of the severely affected and the decreasing quality and quantity of mental hea

Yesterday I put together a kind of psychological first aid kit (pictured below) on the advice of my therapist. Partly because I can now see that I won't be in intensive therapy forever and that I need to develop some tools of my own to get through bad mental health days. Also, the toll that my health and moods sometimes takes on my family is almost invisible from the outside (even to close friends and family) but it has an impact on our home life, relationships and ability to

I spotted a good article today which also made me angry. Can you guess what I didn't like about it? mad. Check it out here: I do wonder sometimes, who decides the title of articles? Are they meant to deliberately mislead? It often appears they do not reflect the nature and nuances of what are often exploratory articles which is a shame. Why must they always be judgemental, is this to get more hits and reads and comments? A better title here would be "Don't Say That Depressio

I was pleased and proud to be invited to attend an event hosted by the charity Rethink Mental Illness at their head office last night and I wasn’t disappointed. Each member of the panel spoke from a different and valuable view point and there was a great mix of opinions. It felt that there were a number of points made that it is important to consider in the context of the public conversation on mental health and I wish there had been more time to go into these. Not only are t

Two weeks or so ago I started reporting on social media the things I was looking forward to each day. #theartoflookingfwd was my way of looking at gratitude for those like me who struggle with counting their blessings and seeing the positive in their life. By identifying small pleasurable or meaningful experiences we intend to have in advance, I thought, this could help us pay more attention to the small stuff we take for granted sometimes and help us feel more gratitude whi

When I was pregnant I developed a painful condition given a name which doesn’t really do it justice – symphysis pubis dysfunction (SPD) or pelvic girdle pain (PGP). The ligaments holding my pelvis together became too relaxed and the resulting movement of my joints caused pain daily from around 5 months antenatally until around 3 months post-partum. In seeking help and advice, I spoke with my midwife, a chiropractor, numerous obstetrics registrars and several physiotherapists

At the grand old age of 35 I decided to return to education and learn more about a passion of mine, psychology. The decision to study again took me over 6 months to get my head around and involved numerous conversations with university tutors, my husband, my family and friends and most importantly myself. As someone who has an anxiety disorder, I routinely loose hours mentally weighing up situations, repeatedly examining evidence and running through all possible outcomes of e