Updated: Jul 9
In the spirit of chasing those awkward pink birds I am going to write about something hard today. That difficult moment where you are told that you share too much, you feel too much and you talk too much about those difficult things in life...and that this is somehow not ok for someone else.
That you need to be different, that you need to be taken down a peg or two as the way you are being is making someone else uncomfortable. When you are aware of this and automatically apologise as sometimes you get lost in translation and don't want to cause upset.
When this is never enough as malice and resentment are assumed where there is none and you realise that what we all say and do is a ultimately a reflection of ourselves and no one else. Despite wanting to please and avoid conflict, you begin to realise that you can't be responsible for others' reactions.
When you also discover that you do yourself more a disservice by seeking to change, to be understood by people who willfully seek to misunderstand you, than in seeking to live by your own values. When you realise that taking ultimate responsibility for your words and actions is by living them fully and this is sometimes painful.
I feel it is my mission to keep talking and acting and feeling and living as authentically as possible as being the kindest thing to do for myself and others. This was not always the case and it seems it is hardest for those close to us when we change.
I am grateful I set up this blog almost 3 years ago and I hope to share details of other blogs, books, inspiring people and resources which have encouraged me and continue to give me strength.
It's a hard moment but a turning point of sorts. Finally I feel more at peace as one door closes and the blinds twitch at the window.