Day 464 #soberlife
It feels important to remember how far I’ve come. Waking up without that fear and regret is priceless.
I did many things and made many choices because I think I was afraid to show up to my life. Most of the time I felt I had to do things, say things, act a certain way to be accepted. But apart from when I was born, to whom and how they raised me, they’ve all been my choices. Drinking started as one of those choices.
What you’d probably only consider as a middle class drinking habit was in fact toxic for me - it masked my real self by trying to convince me there was a shortcut to happiness and eventually that I couldn’t manage without it.
Giving it up and choosing to show up to my life everyday whatever the whether has been the best lesson ever. I’m actually ok to be around most of the time, and I’m learning to manage my illness without escaping.
And I’m even finding the capacity to help other people through my work and studies.